Since 2004, the year of my first breakup, my go-to post-breakup power song for singing in the shower and before passing out on cheap gin was “All I Need” from Jay-Z’s The Blueprint (2001).
“I guess I got my swagger back,” I would exclaim after the mourning. The last time I said it, I was dating someone new and it was an actual swagger caused by shaky legs.
Here is a remix because the original isn’t available on Youtube
As I get older–and finding myself back where I was less than year ago–all this has really proved is that I am good at enduring and surviving heartbreak, but bad at keeping relationships going. And, really, it has come to a point where there is no sense in bouncing back if you’re only going to get knocked down again.
Clearly, the problem is that I’ve been listening to the wrong parts of the song: the bit about swagger and about how “all I need in this world of sin/is me and my girlfriend.” But, really, swagger can only take you so far, and all I should ever really need is me.
This time, before I even think about getting that dagger back, I have to make sure my gear is right, my bucket is low, and that the Rocawear is fittin’ incredible. More importantly, I should probably not be taking self esteem tips from a rap song.