Lumberjack Year, Month 5

Feat Kulkat
Petra, me, Kulkat


And then, there were two. Or three, if you count the cat. You will have to do it for him, though, since his skills are in stalking prey and not in mathematics.

We ran into each other at a gig and after some awkwardness (which was not all that awkward, all things considered), it felt like picking up a conversation that had been shelved for a while. They say love is sweeter the second time around, but I cannot rightly say that this is, in fact, the second time around.

We have fallen in and out of contact through the 10 or so years that we have known each other. The first time, I told her I would see her again in two years, because she was young and I was not. That lasted a couple of months although we did keep in touch over the Internet.

In between, we have had spats and also stretches of time when we didn’t talk. Not because of anything, really, we just had our own lives to lead (or, possibly, we were in denial).

Getting back in that groove was surprisingly easy, like our banter, which, apparently was pretty top notch even back in the day:


I am the guy in blue
I am the guy in blue


And so, I find myself engaged to be married. She is in New York and I am in Manila. That means I am not alone, but also a little alone. Enough to still live the life of a lumberjack with occasional access to modern things like Skype and e-mail.

It is a different challenge, certainly. Particularly for someone who resolved to be alone and to focus on getting stronger and better this year. It is also a different kind of loneliness. The net effect, me sighing to myself after a long shift, is much the same but being in a relationship — a long-distance one at that — has its own attendant problems. Chiefly, absence.

Before she left, she asked: “Do you think it would have been better if we hadn’t gotten back together?” This is, of course, by now, hypothesis contrary to fact and there really is no way to know for sure.

I think, though, that we ran into each other again for a reason (said reason being more than just, “well, you go to the same place and have common friends”) and I think this is a chance for us to follow things to their logical conclusion.

Granted, promising to get married and planning to transplant to an entirely different continent flies in the face of logic. The principle holds, though: Despite everything, I look forward to many mornings waking up next to her. And maybe the cat, except cats are assholes about sharing the bed.


2 thoughts on “Lumberjack Year, Month 5”

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